he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
