new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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