You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize