So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
