I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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