i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
