Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
