i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
