you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Let the clothes fall where they may.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
