the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize