Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
