He asked me if I "almost moaned"
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
