it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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