I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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