you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Randomize
