well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
