I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
