the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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