then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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