He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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