Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize