New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
