Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I think weed is turning my hair brown
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
