i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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