the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
