She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
