it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize