Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
