Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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