I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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