Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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