Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
