she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
