Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
