I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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