There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
