All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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