I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
