Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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