...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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