Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I think I sprained my soul last night
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize