i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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