I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
