Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
