suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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