yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
