I want to make a zoo with you.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
