she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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