I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
