i don't like sucking hair
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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