Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
