I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
