Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
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