He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
