Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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