we're blogging at a bar
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
