my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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