Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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