how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
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