She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize