Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
