you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize