i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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