Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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