It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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