I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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