i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
