he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
