Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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