I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
