i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
