She said her name was "party"
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
