I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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