Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
