please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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