Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
