You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
